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Mystico’s Eerily Accurate Horoscopes: July 9, 2015

Mystico’s Eerily Accurate Horoscopes: July 9, 2015

Aquarius  A fortuitous knock on the noggin will allow you to divine the precise calorie count of delicious street fair dishes. Snack wisely! Pisces  You will discover a dark secret about a loved one while rummaging through their belongings. Ignore your ill-gotten info and reset your moral compass. Aries  A chance encounter with a long-forgotten […]

Mystico’s Eerily Accurate LGBT Horoscopes

Mystico’s Eerily Accurate LGBT Horoscopes

Aquarius | A wise queen knows that broken heels, melting makeup and windswept wigs are no match for a winning smile and a defiant Pride March strut. Pisces | Folding laundry and finding a fling on the roof deck of the Eagle: these two things can be easily accomplished in the time it takes to […]

Mystico’s Late May Horoscopes

Mystico’s Late May Horoscopes

Aquarius Like a lost explorer, you will mistake a wrong turn for the right destination. Plant your flag with caution, and try not to destroy the native culture. Pisces Proceed with caution, bold Pisces, when a charismatic stranger pitches his “can’t-lose” business plan. Few survive falls from a pyramid! Aries You will become invigorated, then […]

Mystico’s Eerily Accurate Horoscopes

Mystico’s Eerily Accurate Horoscopes

Aquarius  Your yearlong buzzword: Risk. Your watchword? Patience. Your lucky numbers: 78, 31, 23. Pisces  This is not Groundhog Day, and you’re not Bill Murray. Stop making small improvements to the same sad pattern. You don’t have a limitless supply of do-overs! Aries  A long walk on a brutally cold winter’s morn brings clarity to […]

Mystico’s Thanksgiving Horoscopes

Mystico’s Thanksgiving Horoscopes

Aquarius  Making the turkey dance during dinner prep is fun, but forcing it to twerk will forever warp your notion of an acceptable Thanksgiving tradition. Pisces  Like cranberry sauce and Macy’s Parade clowns, certain things you have long disdained deserve a rethink. Aries  A second slice of delicious pie is denied by your proud refusal […]

Mystico’s Halloween Horrorscopes

Mystico’s Halloween Horrorscopes

Aquarius  You will find it difficult to abandon the freedoms granted to you by a flamboyant, well-received Halloween costume. Pisces  Don’t let a possible Zombie Apocalypse prevent you from 401(k) contributions and responsible estate planning. Aries  Beware the final stroke of midnight, which unlocks a sinister portal to the netherworld — and reminds us we’ve […]

Mystico’s Early October Horoscopes

Mystico’s Early October Horoscopes

Aquarius  A chatty encounter with the seldom-seen mutual friend of a sworn enemy endows you with heretofore hidden facts, with which to mend the riff or widen it. Pisces  Like that newly opened section of the High Line, this week’s love life promises fresh, bold takes on proven techniques sure to delight tourists and locals […]

Mystico’s Back to School Horoscopes

Mystico’s Back to School Horoscopes

Aquarius  Pencils down. You know everything you need to ace a test based on life lessons learned over the past few weeks. Proceed with confidence! Pisces  Like the lunchbox thermos that keeps hot things hot and cold things cold, your intelligent design allows for stunning displays of classroom (or workplace) versatility during the next full […]

Mystico, Week of Aug. 14, 2014

Mystico, Week of Aug. 14, 2014

Aquarius  A sweet deal will be sealed, when you put that potentially alienating iron fist into a warm and welcoming velvet glove. Pisces  Commit to plans that are far, far beyond your abilities. This is the year’s best week for bold action, too-timid Pisces!  Aries  Don’t be afraid to ask a friend, who’s already in […]

Mystico’s, Week of July 31, 2014

Mystico’s, Week of July 31, 2014

Aquarius  A formidable foe, a competitive bid, the clock and a full house: these things, this week, you are not meant to beat. Accept it, and plot your comeback. Pisces  Your problem is, you expect 5G things from a 3G effort. Upgrade that outmoded attitude, and stop expecting others to swipe the “Try” button.  Aries  […]

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