Horoscopes, Week of April 17, 2013
Aries Stop clicking those ruby slippers. They won’t work until you’ve conquered your fears. Lucky road construction material, color: Brick, Yellow. Taurus Your bullheaded refusal to accept an offer will alienate you from potentially helpful Godfather figures. Lucky time for an apocalypse: Now. Gemini Like a sleigh named Rosebud, a stranger’s cryptic comment sheds only [...]
Horoscopes, April 3, 2013
Aries An early spring visit to the High Line will produce a pleasant burst of sexy flirtation. Lucky Newton: Fig. Taurus Your fiery temperament is ill-suited for the gentle practice of origami. Get a new hobby! Lucky bird: Crane. Gemini Living with temptation is fine — but make it sleep on the couch. [...]
Mystico’s Predictions, March 21, 2013
Aries A flirty exchange with a cutie decades your junior will perk up this Wednesday’s proceedings. Lucky bun: Cinnamon. Taurus Recollections of where you were when Nixon resigned will help you win a bet with an old nemesis. Lucky losing candidate: Mondale. Gemini Cookies crumble and empires fall…but your youthful optimism is [...]
Mystico’s Eerily Accurate Horoscopes, March 6, 2013
Aries Somebody’s attractive sibling will delight you with a moderately salty joke. Lucky late comedian: Phyllis Diller. Taurus Ominous winds and unkind words from the north won’t be enough to bend your will, when tested, at 7:43pm this Thursday. Lucky turn: Left. Gemini A missing pair of gloves will suddenly materialize — leaving you confident, [...]
Horoscopes, Feb. 20, 2013
Aries Impatient rams with multiple irons in the fire risk getting burned while watching their pots boil. Lucky Village Person: Cowboy. Taurus You will find the character flaws of a Reality TV star both repulsive and intriguing. Lucky Bond: Timothy Dalton. Gemini Submit to bulk shopping urges when it comes to candles, canned goods and [...]
Mystico Predicts, Week of Jan. 23, 2013
Aries Like the crane’s wingspan, your February ambitions are wide and majestic. Don’t be discouraged by a slow takeoff. Lucky binding agent: Paste. Taurus A barn owl has no more business in a studio apartment than you do in a pair of prohibitively expensive shoes. Lucky cake: Marble. Gemini When doves cry, your kind words [...]
