Mystico’s Eerily Accurate Horoscopes
Aquarius Your yearlong buzzword: Risk. Your watchword? Patience. Your lucky numbers: 78, 31, 23.
Pisces This is not Groundhog Day, and you’re not Bill Murray. Stop making small improvements to the same sad pattern. You don’t have a limitless supply of do-overs!
Aries A long walk on a brutally cold winter’s morn brings clarity to an on-the-spot decision forced upon you late in the day.
Taurus Heed the sudden urge to travel, then alter your destination upon arrival at the airport. Romance tinged with danger awaits!
Gemini Spring thaws your rigid position on a person, a plant, music you’ve long thought of as noise, rainbow sherbet and the curative powers of cumin.
Cancer Word of a loved one’s misfortune prompts two nights of uneasy dreams sure to unleash a Hermit’s Kingdom of repressed emotions.
Leo Buoyed by the return of sundown after 7, your series of casual strolls will attract the attention of a bashful admirer. The burden of first contact falls upon you!
Virgo An uncanny ability to find hidden meaning in plot points from Season 5 of “Downton Abbey” allows you to wisely council a friend beset by March madness.
Libra Resolve to create new routines, or succumb to sad realizations stemming from unfulfilled New Year’s resolutions.
Scorpio Bring a handful of quarters to nickel beer night and you’ll cook up some cheap fun — but making a habit out of it? That’s an expensive recipe for disaster.
Sagittarius After enduring a cruel, cruel summer, fall will put the requisite spring back in your step, staving off a winter’s worth of discontent.
Capricorn May is your month of molasses-like traction. July, your time of decisive action. November? The acquisition of your ability to get some satisfaction.